The greatest gift you can give your family is a healthy you. Yes, I know it can feel impossible to balance. However, as women, the burdens we carry are occasionally seen on the outside, but truly, I believe most of us carry them on the inside.
Releasing the vicious grip our culture strangles us with can bring freedom like no other. We place an insurmountable amount of stress and pressure on our shoulders to be all things to all people. Moms, we have to remember, we can’t judge our insides to everyone else’s outsides. Darkness looms in false judgments.
People Pleasers are Allowed to say No
Who has trouble saying no? I bet if we were sitting in a room filled with Moms, every hand would go up. “No” is one of the hardest words for women to say. We have no problem telling our children no, but yet, we can’t seem to use it for ourselves. And don’t you find it interesting that, “no” is usually one of the first words your sweet babies say!
Women by nature are people-pleasers – we like to take care of people. In essence, I think a lot of times, we like to feel needed. We desire for people to like us and stamp approval on our foreheads. Women don’t like to disappoint others, to the point we practically kill ourselves to make everyone happy.
Saying “no” might seem selfish, but actually, it is the exact opposite. It is taking up for ourselves – it is taking a stand for us and our families! Those precious bodies in our homes count on us, and we need to remember them when we are driving all over the city doing things we should have said “no” to. I honestly believe, “no” is a word that can bring freedom, it can provide self-nurturance to our weary souls.
You Be You
Our personal value is not determined by how creative the school snack was that practically killed us because it wasn’t PP – you know, “Pinterest Perfect.” It is not determined if we are not on PTA. It is not determined if we are on PTA. It is not determined if we don’t volunteer in the church nursery. It is not determined if we do volunteer in the church nursery. It is determined by who we were created to be – God designed YOU to be YOU! You are not a mistake; you are a courageous Mom who is striving to be the best she can be.
As doubts loom in the background of every decision we make, we need to ask ourselves: Are my choices really choices, or are they habits? A tough question, but one to consider when contemplating our to-do lists. Saying “no” can actually bring freedom back to our lives. It is okay to let go of traditions that don’t make sense anymore, in fact, maybe it is time to make new ones that don’t make mommy crazy!
Give yourself permission today to put you and your family’s needs first, even if disappointing others is a possibility. People learn to adapt, and if they are true friends and family who love you unconditionally, they will appreciate you for wanting to take care of you and your family.
Changing habits, routines and traditions are not signs of weakness. Letting go of these areas can be difficult for the people who are close to you, but don’t let that stop you from changing your life for the better. This courage to say “no” is a way of bringing happiness into the home you dreamt of long ago.
Remember the dream you had as a young girl? I want to grow up, get married, and have kids. Guess what you are living that dream (maybe not how you envisioned when rehearsing with Barbie and Ken). Nonetheless, it is a dream that you get to live. Don’t search for the next best thing, when you are living the best thing right now. Embracing “no” releases stress from saying yes!
Be Real ~ Be You!